Posted 9 hours ago

(Source: dulect)

Posted 11 hours ago

aceticacid:

i fucking did it

Posted 14 hours ago

sextarian:

if a guy calls you hot, he’s complimenting your body.

if a guy calls you cute, he’s complimenting your face.

but if a guy calls you shrexy, he’s complimenting each and every one of your layers

Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 19 hours ago

impromptucantabile:

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE COMIC

Posted 20 hours ago

catswithbenefits:

you know whats better than a mozerella stick?

37 mozzarella sticks

Posted 23 hours ago

Happy Birthday to ME!

Posted 1 day ago

breatheonmyneck:

image

ICANTBREATHE

(Source: serfborts)

Posted 1 day ago

maliciousmelons:

when you are in a hurry and someone wont let the conversation end

image

Posted 1 day ago

moosefix:

moosefix:

Its amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t want to write an essay 

image

You are a hero among procrastinators 

Posted 1 day ago

anymannymore:

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTTLE STAR

HOW IWONDER WHERE U R 

UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH

HIGHER THAN A MOTHERFUCKA 

image

(Source: readm03475587639r)

Posted 2 days ago
Posted 2 days ago

gnarly:

why does this make me laugh so frickin much

(Source: youdonothing)

Posted 2 days ago

sammywinchesster:

school picture day

(Source: shaymittchell)

Posted 2 days ago
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

(Source: secretsbest)